Waking Up and Starting A New

All my plans just seemed to crumble down. It is depressing seeing it under my feet. But just like any mature person would do, while I am gifted with both feet and hands, I'm gonna bend down and pick up the pieces. The pieces of me which has been broken due to failures, mistakes and wrong decisions.

I have failed in so may times and in so many ways, I have seen myself rise up. Why not do it again, I don't think I have another option to choose if I wanted things to be well for myself. I am not saying I am already a veteran when it comes to dealing with stress and challenges. Given my age, I still have a lot of rice to eat. But I will surely not let myself curl up on one end and do nothing. I must do something.

I guess I have given myself enough time to get savor the taste of disappointment, sadness, depression, and staying stagnant, not doing anything. It's time to get back to track. I just needed a push, an inspiration and probably divine intervention too and I think I have enough of it. After pondering about how my life has been, it was a wake up call then.

It's like seeing myself waking up after a long sleep. Now, I am refreshed and ready to start a new. To everything that has happen, good or bad, to people who's been there for me to witness my ups and downs and who caused some of it, I say to you Thank You.

The Enemy in Me

I just hate the thought of me giving up on something I know would give me real happiness. I hate it when I am weakened and fail to do the things that would direct me to where I should be real heading. I hate it when I cannot overcome challenges and battles that come along my way. I hate it when I am defeated, not by somebody else, but myself. I hate it when I get tired of fighting and just lose the string of hope that I hold. I hate it when my enemy is Myself. 


I have come to terms that in order to overcome the enemy in Me, I have to befriend it. Know its likes and dislikes. Study the art of taming it. Learning what it loves and what it hates. Listening to it could be a good start. Allowing it to capture me in a way that I would know how it could perform its tactics on me...the tactic of influencing and maneuvering the way I live my life. I could not afford to allow it to take over my being. Lastly, I could not just consider it an IT in my life because from the very start, it has always been a ME. It has always been MYSELF. It has always been I.

When I suddenly want to have a Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Cancer Book

   
   
    Chicken Soup for the Soul is one of my favorite book. It has different stories and topics, there's for Mom, Dad, Friends, Teens, Grandparents, all sorts of people. It's something that makes you realize a lot of things specially about Life, it inspires you with stories, motivates you, and encourages you. Indeed it is a powerful book that could help people change their perspective in life.
   
    It has become a habit that whenever I go to a Mall alone, I would stop at some Bookstore and start skimming and scanning the books. I would spend an hour or more reading some of it for free :D. Once I passed by the Inspirational corner and saw this Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Cancer Book and thought, this would be a nice gift for my cousin, Ate Sharon, since she loves to read and at that time she was also diagnosed with Leukemia. It might help her get some strength and inspiration. One time when we visited Ate at her house, I asked her if she still wants or can read books, she answered she cannot read no more since her eyesight gets blurry already, due to her illness. I decided not to buy the book.

    A few months after, my brother was diagnosed with Lymphoma, a cancer in the lymphatic system. I felt so down knowing that my brother, in his young age of 21 has cancer. I asked, why of all sickness, it's cancer? Why of all people, my brother? We were sadden when we find out about my cousin's Leukemia and now my brother with lymphoma. Was this a coincidence? Was this hereditary? Does cancer runs in every blood of every generation in the family? Why us? Why? So many questions, but it boils down to one and the same answer: ACCEPTANCE.

       I never thought of buying myself the book, Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Cancer Book. I never thought of having the need to read it. Maybe my first Chicken Soup book would be something like that of a relationships, friends, being single. Sort of books that I can relate myself into. But a Cancer Book? Maybe I would buy it for other people but not for myself. Then all of a sudden, I just woke up one morning, wanting to buy one.

    And I am so proud that my first Chicken Soup for the Soul book is the one I have: Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Cancer Book.