It was in August that I decided to deactivate my Facebook account. It has been so addictive that I find it hard to control myself from checking my account every now and then. Even when I was sleeping and woke up in the middle of the night, the first thing I did was look for my phone and click the blue F application on the screen. It affected my work as well. I had more time Facebooking than doing my task for the day. Opps, sorry boss, now you know what I've been doing in the office, hehehe! Having my Facebook active, personally, I felt like it's obligatory to let people know what I've been doing or feeling by posting photos or statuses on my wall. I felt like I had to comment or click the like button whenever I feel like it (and it's most of the time that I had this urge to do it). It had become a part of my system to check on how many likes I had or are there comments on the pictures I posted. My friend's participation on my wall has become my everyday anticipation. Count in the posts of friends on the Feeds, be it positive or negative, it affects the reader in one way or another. I have become so sensitive with every post especially those that I can relate to. And I don't like what's happening to me. I don't like how the mainstream of social media has affected the way I live my life. Thus, the reason for deactivating it.
I tried my very best to control myself from accessing the application on both phones and laptop. I even hide the app on my smartphone since I cannot uninstall it. It was hard but with enough motivation in mind, I was able to do it. Friends were asking me why they cannot find me on their list and cannot tag me. Some even contacted my sister and asked how I have been and what happened to me. My friends' reactions were very funny. They even thought, I was sort of broken hearted or was annoyed with someone or I was in this "drama/emo" mode that I had to isolate myself from them through Facebook. When I told them my reasons, I am not sure if they believe me, but atleast I stood firm in being out of the mainstream for the meantime.
There were actually advantages and disadvantages of being away from the mainstream social media. It seems that everyone who has Internet has Facebook. I was even told that: "Ikaw ramay babae nga akong nailhan nga dili magFacebook". I took it as a compliment but at the same time, I feel different from others, I don't even know if it's something good or bad. I am no longer updated with my friends' lives unless they tell me personally or when we get the chance to text or comment on Instagram. When we planned that Dumaguete trip with girl friends, they have to contact me through my mobile since they cannot chat with me over FB. Nevertheless, the travel was realized. There were activities or announcement in our SFC Community that I do not know unless they send Group Message through texts aside from posting it on our Group Page in Facebook. My friend Mae, she used twitter to communicate with me through Direct Message, given the limited number of characters you can type. I feel like I am the only person she talked with over twitter. I know being away from the mainstream caused some of my friends the benefit of getting hassled just to reach out to me and honestly, from the bottom of my heart, I feel so special, I feel valued and I feel more human.
It was only for two months that I deactivated my Facebook account but when I came logged back in, I feel it's like forever that I've been away. My profile is just the same, nothing has actually changed but I feel a lot has changed in me. Everytime I think of posting something, like a status, I have to think, do I really need to post this? What does it do to other people? What does it do to me? Nothing really. It does not change the world. I just feel I am giving other people the idea what's up in my life even if it's nonsense. This morning, I had the urge to post something like: Why this feeling ----- I can't relate? I actually posted it but deleted it after awhile. I really felt I cannot relate (for now) with the FB world.
I am not saying Facebook is bad. It has helped a lot of people, communication-wise. What I am writing here is my personal experience. Infairness, being away from the mainstream social media has done a lot of things for me. Instead of wasting my time scrolling on my Facebook Home page and stalking, well uhm, checking out on what's happening on my friends lives, I was able to discover the benefit of youtube and find inspirational videos like that of TEDx, DIYs, and many more. I also read blogs that are informative and useful.
There's actually more to life! Do not be so dependent on social medias and rely on the likes and comments of other people on your statuses. Soliciting affirmation? That's sad. Go out and talk with your friends in person. Reach out to them not only through chats and video calls but meet up with them, have a cup of coffee or eat out. Life is beautiful. It is really beautiful when you come to terms to live it the personal way and not the cyber/virtual kind of way.
